ON TO PENANG

I am sure that eighty years ago the island of Penang was a romantic pearl on the necklace of islands on the west coast of what is now Malaysia, with attractive colonial buildings, the famous Eastern & Orient Hotel, and unique Chinese temples.

Today it is a conglomeration of multi-storied condos, rambling retail outlets, and tin-roofed shanties.

I was here in March and didn’t much enjoy The Bayview Beach Resort Hotel on Ferringhi Beach. The hotel’s a typical high-rise, beachfront, resort hotel. You know me, I don’t cotton to “typical” anything. (Also, being a “Trekkie,” I must have been preoccupied looking over my shoulder for Ferringhis.)

Hotel Equatorial Penang

This time I had returned to evaluate the leading business hotel. Nestled on a hillock, Hotel Equatorial Penang, the island’s only golf and convention resort, is strategically located 5 minutes to the Bayan Lepas Industrial Zone, 7 minutes to the Penang International Airport and 20 minutes to the city center. The five-star hotel which is surrounded by award winning landscaped gardens (that need attention), offers 655 guestrooms and suites, and 22 apartments.

The hotel’s limo picked me up at the airport. The driver said I’d only see business people.

After two comfortable days overlooking the golf course and enjoying the grotto-edged, large swimming pool. I think they ought to either start to market it as a genuine all-round resort with a great golf course, restaurants, and views. Even the health club is run by Equinox! Of course they do have huge convention and exhibition facilities so it is naturally the business center for Penang, and a lot of business takes place here.

Niggles:
1. High-speed Internet connection is provided by an internal LAN, but unlike The Prince in KL, if you usually connect with a LAN at your office, you will need to change to setting in your network connection to “search for any.” Be sure to write down your office codes first. This is not explained on the printed card on your desk, and you also need to get a PIN when you check in; also not explained. So I had to ask the Assistant Manager to show me what to do before I could get online.

2. Two terrycloth robes and two dressing gowns took up 4 of the ten hangers; that’s 40%!

3. The Laundry arbitrarily puts proper creases in some trousers while ironing others with no crease at all. Be sure to specify what you want.

Highlights: The gal at the front desk who paused when I asked her where The View Restaurant was. Scratching her head, she said it was not too far, less than a kilometer away. Seeing my expression she laughed. It was much less than a kilometer, about 50 paces, and the food is delicious, and the service spot on.

Hotel Equatorial, 1, Jalan Bukit Jambul, Bayan Lepas, 11900 Penang, Malaysia. Tel: +60 4 643 8111; info@pen.equatorial.com, Web site

Around Town:

Don’t miss a visit to the famed Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion. Winner of the UNESCO Conservation Award 2000 and National Architectural Award for Conservation 1995, this is a landmark, private, Grade-1 restoration of a 38-room, 5-courtyard, 7-staircase mansion of a 19th-Century, rags-to-riches Chinese Mandarin. (I just wanted to see if Microsoft Word would allow that sentence without comment. It did, but try saying it 5 times fast.)

Carefully restored after a century of neglect, this place, also known as “La Maison Blue,” has been the location for several films including “Indochine” with Catherine Deneuve. Conducted tour at 11:00a and at 3:00p Monday through Friday, and at 11:00a every Saturday, Sunday and public holidays.

Oh, yes; it’s also an hotel, but as I didn’t stay there, I have nothing to report.

Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion, 14 Leith Street, Penang. Tel: 04-262-0006; cfm@tm.net.my; www.cheongfatttzemansion.com

We went up the coast to have lunch at the Shangri-La’s Rasa Sayang Resort. Sort of a mix between the Bayview Beach and the Equatorial, it was trying to be all things to all people. Doesn’t work. Got lost in the ballroom wing and its countless meeting rooms. Lunch was expensive but the trees were beautiful. There is a lesson there.

Shangri-La’s Rasa Sayang Resort, Batu Feringgi Beach, 11100 Penang, Malaysia. Tel: (604) 881-1811; rsr@shangri-la.com. Web site

Have a stroll through the Eastern & Oriental Hotel (E&O). In 1927, it was advertised as “the premier hotel east of the Suez,” boasting a sea-front lawn reputed to be the world’s longest at 842 feet. Its balls, galas, and dinner parties were the talk of the town and the length of the Malay Archipelago, and celebrities who came to stay included Somerset Maugham, Mary Pickford, and Noel Coward.

Recently refurbished, it’s more like a museum but you can stay there. I’d suggest bringing a hundred or so friends to warm it up a bit.

Eastern & Oriental Hotel, 10 Lebuh Farquhar, 10200 Penang, Malaysia. Tel: 604-222 2000. hotel-info@e-o-hotel.com; Website

Visit Leong San Tong Khoo Kongsi temple. Amazing decorations, paintings, and carvings.

Leong San Tong Khoo Kongsi, 18 Cannon Square, 10200 Penang, Malaysia. Tel: 604-261-4609. (The ticket collector said I was handsome. I’ll go back. J

Inflammatories:

Regarding the Prime Minister’s speech at OIC in which he said something to the effect that the Jews are running the world by proxy, I’m surprised he didn’t include the Gay Mafia.

As far as I’m concerned, intelligence and common sense should rule the world, with no proxies necessary. But of course, that is not the case, except for Singapore which is a pretty good model of goal setting, controlling, achieving, and growing.

As for Malaysia, the slothfulness of the Malays is aggravated by the government who “protects” the native Malay while putting roadblocks in the educational and career paths of others born in the country. For example, the people of Chinese ancestry are challenged by a quota system for admittance to colleges and universities, and, once accepted, their examinations are much more demanding than for Malays.

In any event, as is common around the world, the Chinese excel and lead enterprises even though dragged down by the mandatory rule that 30% of all employees must be Malay.

To me, because of the governmental coddling, most of the Malays just don’t “get it.” You’ve heard all those “Polish” jokes, well it’s even more ridiculous here—one guy to rake, 5 guys to watch.

Even when it comes to repetitive action, there’s no connect. For example, at The Prince in KL, on my first morning, I asked the room boy for two extra bath towels, explaining that I usually take a shower during the day after my swim. He accommodated with a smile and the two towels. The next day I was out for breakfast when the boy did the room; he didn’t leave any extra towels. The third, I asked again; the fourth, without me there to ask, no extras.

Another example: I asked the concierge at the Equatorial to arrange a car to take me to the airport in the morning. He asked what time I wanted the car. I said I was on the flight to Bangkok, what time do you suggest? It was as though no one had ever asked him that before. He didn’t know when the flight left or when one would have to leave the hotel.

I called Thai Airways. There is and always has been just one flight from Penang to Bangkok at 8:40 in the morning. In order to provide the required cushion of time, one has to leave the Equatorial Hotel at 6:50AM.

Later on I learned that the Thai crew bunks at the Equatorial and goes to the airport each morning. Duh!

Thus, even when presented with opportunities to learn and demonstrate the ability to improve, it doesn’t happen. The situation is as bad as it was in the Caribbean in the 50s and 60s.

Unfair? Maybe. Generalization? Certainly, but no worse than in the Prime Minister’s speech. The point is that most of the staff at the hotels was well trained and on the ball proving that the Malays don’t need coddling, especially when it makes them uncompetitive. I’m advocating the leveling of the playing field. This is a small world.

For the moment, however, the Malays are suffering a national virus with much greater effect than S.A.R.S.—it’s the Malaise of the Malays, and if the government doesn’t take the necessary steps to allow the real world to come into their lives, someone else is going to have to rule, and not by proxy.

(These are my personal opinions and certainly should not be construed to have anything to do with my position as visiting professor at Bangkok University.)