“Oh, I see.” said the blind man, but he didn’t see at all.

Mid-October 2003
(A 15-min. read)

The tenth summit of the Organization of the Islamic Conference (OIC) is being held in Kuala Lumpur. I came to sense the atmosphere.

Black limos ply the streets that are strangely empty of the usual jammed traffic.

Yesterday’s headlines scream “Leave Iraq to UN.”

Today, CNN and the local papers are reporting rather different points of view about the Prime Minister’s remarks about the Jews “running the world by proxy.” I don’t normally express political opinions, but if you want to read about my impressions of Malaise-ia, see the end of this report.

For me, other things disturb the peace…

I’m staying at The Prince Hotel; I was here on trips in March and April. Right in the retail center of town, it is a newish place with attractive rooms and friendly staff, and it’s affordable.

A note about my observations: Sometimes I probably sound like the proverbial bitch, but my reports serve several causes.
· I am alerting management
· I am advising potential visitors what to expect
· I am helping my students at Bangkok University International College develop the essential laser focus that will help make them great hoteliers in the future.

Few go to the extent that I do, but having created what has been America’s #1 resort-hotel for the past 25 years, The Point in upstate New York, I know that guest satisfaction lies in the details. So help out your hotel manager by reporting the niggles. You’ll be very well treated the next time.

Last night, I arrived from Bangkok. It’s only a one and a half-hour flight, but the journey takes 9 hours door to door.

I like this hotel, but this trip there seemed to be more niggles than usual. Examples:

1. The lobby of the hotel had 4 airport x-ray machines; the bellboy carried my bags right by them!

“Aren’t we supposed to put my bags through these?” I asked.

“No, no,” was the answer, “they’re for the delegates coming next week.”

“Oh, I see,” I said.

He looked at me and said, “O.I.C.?"

Three days later the machines were turned on, the queues got impatient, and I mentioned to the observing assistant manager that I’d been here for three days and had had plenty of time to assemble my weapons.

He shrugged with a smile, “We have people who have been living here for months, maybe they’ve been preparing too!” (The hotel has an adjacent condo.)

2. I went down to dinner—a good buffet of wonderful Indonesian specialities—to discover upon my return to my room that there had been no turndown service. I called housekeeping, told them not to bother, and said I was just letting them know.

Puzzled, she said, “Oh, I see.” (I guess she didn’t get my point for there was no turn-down the next 2 evenings either.)

3. The next morning, I tried to get out of the shower. The bath mat jammed the door and left me groping for the towel that was far out of reach over the end of the separate tub. It would have been easier if the door opened the other way, or the room boy had angled the mat, or, even better, had put the towel, instead of the bath mat, on the shower door rail.

Before

After

I mentioned it to the room boy.

He said, “Oh, I see.”

4. Seems towels are a problem throughout the hotel…I went down to the pool. The pool boy pointed out a chaise longue for me. “Towel?” I said, “Seems there aren’t any.”

He said, “Oh, I see. I'll send some to you.” and continued tending bar.

Twenty minutes later, I went back to my room and brought down my two bath towels. I hope Housekeeping doesn’t report I stole them; I took them back after my good Caesar Salad at the pool.

5. The next morning, I called Room Service around 10:30am. “May I have a Continental Breakfast with coffee and orange juice?”

Room Service voice, “That’s all you want? Coffee and orange juice?”

I repeated, “May I have a CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST, with coffee and orange juice?”

Room Service: “Don’t you want breads?”

“Of course."

Room Service: “Well, breakfast is almost over and it’s getting near lunchtime so all we can give you is toast. Is that alright?”

“Yes, thanks.” (Gee, I guess they don’t even have one roll left to offer with the dozens of lunches they or the main kitchen are going to serve. Reminds me of the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and…saw. Except he [and now I] didn’t; see, that is!)

6. The room phones have buttons for every service, but…none of them work.

7. Housekeeping staff should be taller…

That's dust on the plant shelf.

I’ll be back to stay here, if they’ll have me. Besides the niggles, it is conveniently located, has cheery staff, and when it is not under pressure from something like OIC, runs rather well.

The Prince Hotel & Residence, Jalan Conlay, 50460 Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. e-mail: enquiry@princehotelkl.com; http://www.princehotelkl.com

That evening I went to The Westin. Construction having been delayed for years; it finally opened two months ago. Now the delay is waiting for the waiter in Prego, the alfresco dining room. Oh well, the food was lousy too.

You know, I like KL but I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because it gives me so much material for my classes. A while back, I was one of the first guests at the new Mandarin Oriental.

1. After three friends had tried to visit me there, only to be told by the concierge and the front desk that I was not registered, I went down to introduce myself. Didn’t help; I was still the unregistered guest to all queries for the rest of my stay.

A view from the Club Floor.

2. I was on the club floor. The special VIP guest desk was there to assist in all things. I handed them some documents to fax for me. The next day I asked for the return of my papers. They didn’t know that they were supposed to return them. They were gone; I tried to be cool.

3. I had brought too many clothes and decided to send some back home via FedEx. They gave me three standard FedEx boxes but only had one waybill form. I filled it in with my address in New York and the contents as “personal used clothes being returned home.” They said they would fill in the other waybills as soon as FedEx brought them.

A month later I was luxuriating in Phuket when I got an email from FedEx in Anchorage, Alaska. Seems they had received the boxes marked “goods from Malaysia” and as I hadn’t responded to calls to my New York apartment, the U.S. Customs was going to destroy them the next day.

So, while the over-ambitious gals on the Club Floor had put wrong information on the waybill, the boxes were finally cleared and were waiting for me in New York.

4. I cooled off in the lobby with one of the best Dry Martinis I had ever had. The next evening, I called room service to have another. Now this hadn’t happened to me since London in the early 60s: the waiter brought up a glass of Martini & Rossi Dry Vermouth! That would have been a very wet Martini. I explained how to make a Dry Martini. He went away and brought up a glass of Dry Vermouth, a glass of gin, and some olives!

Laughing, I called Room Service and said that while I really appreciated their effort, and would be happy to make my own, I had had the best one ever down in the lobby. The room Service voice said, well, this is Room Service; it’s not the same.

THE BOTTOM LINE
So what’s the answer? Nobody does it better in Kuala Lumpur than Randy Shimabuku, the General Manager of The Regent. When I stay there, it really is like home. Nothing distracts, everything works, no niggles interrupt your purpose.

So why do I go anywhere else? The Regent gets booked far in advance, sometimes farther than my plans. And if I didn’t stay anywhere else, how would I help others, less detail-oriented, hone their skills, or get so much material for my students?

All together now…O I C.

The Regent Hotel Kuala Lumpur, 160 Jalan Bukit Bintang, Kuala Lumpur 55100, Malaysia. Tel: (60 3)2141-8000 Web site

Around Town:
I was in KL three weeks ago and got the best haircut I’ve had in years at HQ Hair Studio in KL Plaza. I returned yesterday. Tommy Chin, my cutter, asked if I always come to KL to get my hair cut? Not a bad idea, he’s awfully good and the shampoo massage the very attractive, Chinese gal gives you lasts 20 minutes! Shampoo and cut RM50 (US$14). Tel: 012-398-8639, 2nd floor, KL Plaza, Jalan Bukit Bintang. chintommy@hotmail.com

A favorite restaurant: Scalini’s. Tuscan and Roman classical dishes and now they serve a good Negroni thanks to a tutorial by Professor Carter. J 19, Jalan Sultan Ismail, 50250, Kuala Lumpur. Tel: 2145 3211. It’s an eight-minute walk from The Regent; just ask the concierge for directions.

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